August 2018: Walking through Burden Gardens with Case and realizing this was where we would celebrate our wedding. Finally starting to "see" the wedding. Our wedding. The butterflies in my stomach feeling as we signed on the line and wrote the check for our date: October 19, 2019.
December 2018: Our 2-hour Skype call with our amazing photographers. Realizing we'd found "our people" to photograph our wedding. The relief.
April 2019: The excitement of finding out Aunt Jeanette was moving to Baton Rouge to help with the wedding. The feeling of relief that we didn't have to worry about the flowers anymore. The panic of realizing that we really, really needed to make a plan now and get things going.
August 30-September 1, 2019: The nervousness of my New Jersey bridal shower weekend. Being completely in the dark about what Sam had planned. Feeling overwhelmed by the outpouring of love. Feeling surreal that this was really happening. It was really my time for my bridal shower. Seeing that Sam made a shower that was basically my reception vision in shower form. Having a pancake bar. The Lush bachelorette party.
September 28, 2019: My TARDIS & Doctor Who-themed Louisiana bridal shower. So completely different from my NJ weekend. So very lovely in its own right. Feeling excited and ready for the wedding. Feeling calm. Feeling like it needed to be wedding time already.
October 2019: The roller coaster. Setting a very strict schedule and workout routine for myself. Throwing myself into run group and the low FODMAP diet my functional wellness doctor prescribed me. Feeling amazing. Feeling stressed, increasingly. Starting a strict regimen of Holy Basil, CBD, and other stress-reducing herbal treatments.
October 11-13, 2019: My bachelorette party weekend in NOLA. Utter perfection. A Mac n Cheese festival. A "bad bitches of history" ghost tour. A Mardi Gras museum with a costume room. All the alcohol. A charming hotel. Brunch at Red Dog Diner. Absolutely perfect weather. Finished the weekend utterly calm and ready for the wedding.
October 14 & 15, 2019: The most stressful and emotional days leading into the wedding. Terrible weather forecast for the upcoming weekend. Non-stop rain through the morning of the 16th. Lots of time at the gym and trying to eat clean to keep my body under control and inflammation at bay.
October 16, 2019: The day I gave it up to God and the universe and decided what will be will be re: the wedding and my to-do lists. Finally feeling like my feet were underneath me for the schedule. My to-do lists were finished and now I just needed to, well, to-do them.
October 17, 2019: A perfect day. A fantastic run. Lunch gathering at my mom's where we got to visit with family, dinner with our dear friends from NAU. Then I partied with my brother, Alex and Macaela well into the wee hours, and I managed to end the night (morning) with a panic attack about not being ready for the wedding and doing it all wrong after too much partying and not enough sleep, and I had to wake up Case and have him talk me through it, wrap me up in a blanket, and cuddle with me until I fell asleep.
October 18, 2019: All the bliss from the day before was replaced with utter panic about getting everything done in time. Tired from only 4 hours of sleep. Hungover from partying. Very, very, VERY emotional about the fact that, holy shit. This was it. This was rehearsal day and nails day and WE WERE GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! Went for a too-short run that definitely helped with the nerves. Kept chipping away at the to-do list. Got pampered at the salon with my ladies. Mini-napped in the massage chair. Raced home to change before the rehearsal, to discover that Alex, Macaela, Charlie, and Dan had been tirelessly working to clean the house and get everything ready for the Big Day. Feeling overwhelmed. Saw Case in his fancy rehearsal clothes and decided "screw it, I'm wearing the dress I planned on wearing even though I have no time for makeup right now." (SO glad I did.) Drove to the church, got yelled at by crossing guards for going too fast (we were). Still feeling panicky. Still tired.
Arrived at the church. Dad made a joke about getting him yelled at by a crossing guard. Saw our minister, who was quintessential Nathan and talked me off the ledge (again). Met our coordinator's assistant, who was standing in for her due to a last-minute event emergency switch-around. Going to Nathan's office to sign the marriage license while we waited for everyone to arrive late. Realizing this was it, this was me and Case signing our marriage license. So much laughter in his office with Charlie, Mamie, and Sam. Jokes abounding. Going through the run-through of getting lined up. Standing with my dad, looking at him, and crying before we walked down the aisle. Crying again as we practiced walking down the aisle. The utterly surreal feeling of standing on our chancel with Case, holding his hands, and having Nathan talk through the different steps. The frustration of ~some~ people being difficult. My grandpa trying to trip everyone walking down the aisle on our exit. Feeling emotional as my brother walked my mom up. Being sure to watch closely as everyone went up the aisle during practice, because I had a feeling I would miss it tomorrow (I was right).
Headed back home to put makeup on and breathe for a second before the rehearsal dinner. Commotion. Alex and Macaela still cleaning. Me getting emotional. Charlie and Dan looking dapper in their rehearsal dinner suits. Putting my makeup on. Case loading up all our presents for our loved ones. Case looking so handsome. Me, Wicked, and Sam(? Or Katie?) unpacking my dress at some point and hanging it up, building a dog-proof fortress around it. Me packing up his present in my purse. The call: Cocha thought our reservation was for 6, not 5. But it's all good! We can be ready for you! Finally ready to go, still didn't get to photograph the tables to send to Randi--it's okay, she's a professional. She said she doesn't need them until tomorrow anyway, breathe, breathe. Arriving at the restaurant and feeling like a celebrity. The owners greeted us, our waiter made sure we wanted for nothing. The room slowly filling up with everyone we loved--my parents, Case's parents, our siblings, Dan, Katie, Uncle Mike & Aunt Diane, Christina, Sam & Chris, my grandpa and Sally, Olivia & Juliana, Aunt Kathy, and Luke & Tristan. Everyone but Case and I getting delightfully toasted on yummy drinks. My grandpa buying a round of drinks for everyone. Case and I drinking delicious mocktails and tea all night because there was no way in hell I was going to be puffy for my wedding. The Food. Everyone opening their presents. Katie sobbing. Wicked sobbing. Mom sobbing. Dad crying. Me crying. Feeling so overwhelmed with love and happiness. Finally relaxing. Finally enjoying myself. Still tired.
Finishing dinner and heading to our drinks in the lobby event with out-of-town guests. Getting to see SO MANY PEOPLE we haven't seen in forever. Seeing Aunt Janice & Uncle Denis! Loading up on water. Going to Case's room with him to help him check in and set up. Opening my present from him: A wristwatch, engraved with "Every moment, I love you more. C & R 10.19.19" Him opening my present: Cuff links, one with the coordinates of the building we met in and the other with coordinates of the building we'd be married in, and engraved with "10.19.19" on the back. Crying a little together. Practicing our first dance in his room before we went downstairs to join the party. Finally hitting The Wall and needing to go home. Going upstairs so Case and I could say goodbye and I could pick up my present, which I left up there. Talking for a few minutes about how we couldn't wait to get married. My mom saying she was heading home and me feeling shakey and asking if she'd come over first.
Returning home. Staging all the photos. Feeling beyond tired but also super anxious. Taking the photos. Christina bringing over ALL the stress tea. Sam leaving "early" so she could get sleep. Taking Benedryl. Talking myself off the stress ledge again. Olivia and Juliana settling in for the night. Finishing the photos and literally swooning from exhaustion. Showing Juliana my dress and accessories, and watching her cry a little. Putting on my face mask. My mom sitting on the couch with me next to her. All of us sitting around and talking. Realizing that, other than texting the photos, it was all done. Taking the sheet off the dress. We were all ready. Everything was set. All the hard work was about to pay off. Saying goodbye to everyone, taking off my mask. Getting Olivia and Juliana settled in for the night. Laying down in bed, writing in my journal. Waking up in the middle of the night FIVE TIMES. Sweating through my clothes--a thing I do when I'm stressed and sleeping.
October 19, 2019: Waking up at 6:45 instead of 6, so I could get a little more sleep. The house was quiet and dark, the girls still asleep. Putting on my running clothes and sneaking to my car. Driving to the City Park. Running the Lakes at sunrise. Stopping to breathe in the moment. It was the perfect sunrise. Perfect weather. Getting home at 7:40 to Olivia getting out of the shower. Jumping in the shower myself. Getting out just in time to hear someone arrive--our one hair stylist was early. Walking out in my towel, figuring out where to set everything up. Removing the dog fortress around the dress. Our other hair stylist showing up, and then our make-up artist showing up, all before I was fully dressed. Me realizing THIS IS IT, HERE WE GO! but also SHIT, SEND THE TEXTS!! The breakfast I had set-up getting delivered (bagels, pastries, and coffee because that's how this Jersey girl rolls). Again not fully dressed. Still no one else at the house except my girls and our artists. The artists getting set up. People starting to arrive. Holy shit, it's only 8:00 am and the day is already this busy. Me feeling overwhelmed, realizing I forgot to remind my mom and dad to figure out vendor tips. Me turning to my amazing hair stylist and saying, "I know you need to set my hair first before you start working on anyone else, but can you give me five minutes?" then locking myself in my bedroom and--I kid you not--doing a quick core workout. Changing into what I wanted to wear all morning. Okay. I've got this.
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