Last night, C. and I went to Yoga on Tap, where we practiced some particularly intense yoga (problematically intense, honestly) that ended with the instructor guiding us to set a goal for the rest of the week.
My goal: More focus.
I get so distracted so easily, and it's very frustrating at times. Teaching is a good career for me, because there's always a bunch of stuff I need to do, so I can jump around. But sometimes that jumping around just gets out of hand, and I wind up getting nothing accomplished.
Cue: this semester.
So this week I'm working on focusing. Focusing my mind, my money, my energies on tasks that are both necessary and fulfilling. Focus my thoughts and quieting my mind so I can continue my focus.
Step one: paying bills and setting up recurring payments so I can stop having to juggle 1,000 due dates in my head.
Step two: sit at my desk and actually get work done in my home office. So often I sit at my home desk and just flit around without accomplishing anything. But it's the best seat in the house, and I need to make it a focused, productive space rather than just a pretty corner of our spare room.
Step three: focus on my relationship and nurture my dynamic with C. We've been struggling through some stuff lately, and I really need to work on being a better partner. There's a line from The Perks of Being a Wallflower that really resonates with me: "We accept the love we think we deserve." It's so, so true, and I've realized that I need to work on giving my partner the best love I can, because he deserves good love. And I need to continue to believe I deserve a happy, healthy relationship and not just settle for okay. We're not okay, we're awesome. I just need to work on maintaining that awesomeness more. Relationships are a lot of work, y'all.
Step four: focus. on. my. job. Get the grades done, get the classes caught up. Get my shit together. Stop procrastinating on the parts of my job I don't like, so I'll have more time to do the parts I do like.
Step five: finish planning my next round of Fit Girl so I can end my 20s in the best shape of my life. Fit Girl Boot Camp, here I come!
There it is! My map for the remainder of my week; with any luck, I'll be able to focus and conquer my steps.
And, speaking of focus, now I must get back to grading. One step at a time, one paper at a time.
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Friday, February 19, 2016
Of Priorities
Happy Friday, y'all!
C and I were talking this morning about how this was a very short week made up of some very long days. Today is no exception.
My teaching schedule is such that I teach two groups of two back-to-back classes: 8:30 & 9:30, then 11:30 & 12:30. And, while teachers aren't supposed to play favorites or respond too emotionally to classes, or whatever, my days are often a roller coaster; some of my classes and students are amazing. Some, not so much.
I got to thinking about why I'm connecting with some classes better than others today. There are some obvious reasons: personality types, senses of humor, etc. But then there is that inexplicable X factor that determines whether a class and I hit it off. And that X factor, I realized today, stems from priorities--what my students value in a class versus what I do.
The same goes for running: My relationship with exercise has to boil down to priorities, both long and short term. What do I want out of a race? Out of an exercise? A week? A day? A lifetime?
For the Mardi Gras Mambo, my number one priority was to just finish. But as I trained and gained more confidence, my priorities shifted--soon I wanted to break an hour, then 58 minutes, then try to match my old PR. I had something to prove to myself, and that motivation affected my priorities.
Ultimately, I managed to run a new 10k PR on Saturday--turns out Louisiana is a great place if you like running fast and flat. And so now my priorities have shifted to the next race. The next challenge.
Along the way, I will need to practice balance. I've never been great at strength training when I'm running, because I'd rather just go all the time than stop and build strength. But my injuries have made me see a whole new perspective to strength training, and reevaluate what that word "strength" really means.
Strength isn't just about getting better at the things you already like or are good at. It means pushing yourself to do better overall. To grow strong by strengthening the weak parts.
In running, that means I will embrace cross and strength training.
And in teaching, that means that--God help me--I will keep trying to strengthen my relationships in *all* my classes.
C and I were talking this morning about how this was a very short week made up of some very long days. Today is no exception.
My teaching schedule is such that I teach two groups of two back-to-back classes: 8:30 & 9:30, then 11:30 & 12:30. And, while teachers aren't supposed to play favorites or respond too emotionally to classes, or whatever, my days are often a roller coaster; some of my classes and students are amazing. Some, not so much.
I got to thinking about why I'm connecting with some classes better than others today. There are some obvious reasons: personality types, senses of humor, etc. But then there is that inexplicable X factor that determines whether a class and I hit it off. And that X factor, I realized today, stems from priorities--what my students value in a class versus what I do.
The same goes for running: My relationship with exercise has to boil down to priorities, both long and short term. What do I want out of a race? Out of an exercise? A week? A day? A lifetime?
For the Mardi Gras Mambo, my number one priority was to just finish. But as I trained and gained more confidence, my priorities shifted--soon I wanted to break an hour, then 58 minutes, then try to match my old PR. I had something to prove to myself, and that motivation affected my priorities.
Ultimately, I managed to run a new 10k PR on Saturday--turns out Louisiana is a great place if you like running fast and flat. And so now my priorities have shifted to the next race. The next challenge.
Along the way, I will need to practice balance. I've never been great at strength training when I'm running, because I'd rather just go all the time than stop and build strength. But my injuries have made me see a whole new perspective to strength training, and reevaluate what that word "strength" really means.
Strength isn't just about getting better at the things you already like or are good at. It means pushing yourself to do better overall. To grow strong by strengthening the weak parts.
In running, that means I will embrace cross and strength training.
And in teaching, that means that--God help me--I will keep trying to strengthen my relationships in *all* my classes.
Thursday, February 18, 2016
Scattered minds make scattered thoughts
Hello, dear blog. It's good to see you again. I meant to write yesterday, last weekend, on Mardi Gras...but I didn't. I'm here now, though. Hi.
It's been a whirl of days lately, and my mind feels the same--constantly moving, but never feeling like I settle on any one place I stop. It's making me feel disjointed and, well, scattered. That scattered feeling then leads to me not actually sitting down and stopping for a minute to catch my breath, because I'm constantly looking ahead at the next dozen items on my to-do list.
And thus, no blog posts.
Case in point: as I sit here in my home office and write this, I have about a dozen little nagging voices in the back of my head yelling at me to be doing other things. I need to grade; I need to lesson plan; I need to turn music on; I need to not turn music on and just listen to the outside through my open window; I need to go to the gym in two hours, now an hour and a half, soon an hour; I need to go to running group tonight; so I need to REALLY BE LESSON PLANNING RIGHT NOW, RACHEL, COME ON.
And that's just in the last minute.
By my calculations last night, I should have responded to about 60 student blogs by this point this morning. The plan was to get those blogs responded to and get tomorrow lesson planned before I head off to the gym, so that I can plan for future projects and get some major project grading done in the afternoon.
So, like a good English teacher, I came into my office with my cup of coffee and breakfast, and sat down at my desk.
Then I saw the scattered papers, and my scattered thoughts chased those papers onto the floor and into organized piles. Then my scattered thoughts took those now-organized piles and filed them away in my filing box, trying to not look at my new filing cabinet that sits in the middle of my office, homeless and awaiting purpose. That is for another day; God, grant me another day.
Once I sat back down at my desk with the scattered papers now removed, I saw my new journal that a dear friend gave me last week and that I plan on using for fitness goals and discussion. You know, the stuff I *don't* feel like sharing on the internet. And I was all set to write in it, but then I saw my #fitgirlsguide folder, its papers sticking out like fine hair on a dry day. Next to it, my latest running training program, which I just finished on Saturday. What do I do with all these papers? I wondered. What do I do with all these thoughts?
And so, instead of writing in that new journal, or reading those student blogs, I just spent the last hour making a brand new binder of all my fitness & nutrition papers. I organized the scattered and tried to reconcile the seemingly double fitness life I live, weaving together my running goals and my #FGG goals. And through the journey of pulling old papers and dusting off old goal charts, I took a lovely trip down memory lane. I revisited that girl who started her #Fitgirlsguide journey 10 months ago, who was so scared to try something new but also so tired of looking like crap and feeling like she was still carrying the weight of a shitty past relationship around with her. And through looking over all these scattered papers and spent months, I saw a pattern of strength and courage and a little bit of crazy.
Perhaps that's the thread that connects these thoughts & memories together. Perhaps, especially on days like today when I'm so very impatient with myself and so very overwhelmed with all I need to do, I should embrace the crazy a little bit more and remember that I have the strength to do anything I set my mind to.
I just need to pause every once in a while to set that mind.
It's been a whirl of days lately, and my mind feels the same--constantly moving, but never feeling like I settle on any one place I stop. It's making me feel disjointed and, well, scattered. That scattered feeling then leads to me not actually sitting down and stopping for a minute to catch my breath, because I'm constantly looking ahead at the next dozen items on my to-do list.
And thus, no blog posts.
Case in point: as I sit here in my home office and write this, I have about a dozen little nagging voices in the back of my head yelling at me to be doing other things. I need to grade; I need to lesson plan; I need to turn music on; I need to not turn music on and just listen to the outside through my open window; I need to go to the gym in two hours, now an hour and a half, soon an hour; I need to go to running group tonight; so I need to REALLY BE LESSON PLANNING RIGHT NOW, RACHEL, COME ON.
And that's just in the last minute.
By my calculations last night, I should have responded to about 60 student blogs by this point this morning. The plan was to get those blogs responded to and get tomorrow lesson planned before I head off to the gym, so that I can plan for future projects and get some major project grading done in the afternoon.
So, like a good English teacher, I came into my office with my cup of coffee and breakfast, and sat down at my desk.
Then I saw the scattered papers, and my scattered thoughts chased those papers onto the floor and into organized piles. Then my scattered thoughts took those now-organized piles and filed them away in my filing box, trying to not look at my new filing cabinet that sits in the middle of my office, homeless and awaiting purpose. That is for another day; God, grant me another day.
Once I sat back down at my desk with the scattered papers now removed, I saw my new journal that a dear friend gave me last week and that I plan on using for fitness goals and discussion. You know, the stuff I *don't* feel like sharing on the internet. And I was all set to write in it, but then I saw my #fitgirlsguide folder, its papers sticking out like fine hair on a dry day. Next to it, my latest running training program, which I just finished on Saturday. What do I do with all these papers? I wondered. What do I do with all these thoughts?
And so, instead of writing in that new journal, or reading those student blogs, I just spent the last hour making a brand new binder of all my fitness & nutrition papers. I organized the scattered and tried to reconcile the seemingly double fitness life I live, weaving together my running goals and my #FGG goals. And through the journey of pulling old papers and dusting off old goal charts, I took a lovely trip down memory lane. I revisited that girl who started her #Fitgirlsguide journey 10 months ago, who was so scared to try something new but also so tired of looking like crap and feeling like she was still carrying the weight of a shitty past relationship around with her. And through looking over all these scattered papers and spent months, I saw a pattern of strength and courage and a little bit of crazy.
Perhaps that's the thread that connects these thoughts & memories together. Perhaps, especially on days like today when I'm so very impatient with myself and so very overwhelmed with all I need to do, I should embrace the crazy a little bit more and remember that I have the strength to do anything I set my mind to.
I just need to pause every once in a while to set that mind.
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Milestones
This weekend was my mom's 50th birthday, so I flew home to surprise her and celebrate with family.
The surprise was a resounding success, which had me so relieved--I was really worried that I was going to somehow miss my flight or that the surprise would be blown. But everything went off without a hitch, and I had a wonderful 48 hours back east. I even got to go climbing with my brother, which has become one of my new favorite things.
So all that was wonderful. But now it's confessional time:
I've also been a terrible Fit Girl this past week for the last week in the first 2016 Fit Girl challenge. I was super stressed and trying to plan for the trip, so I haven't been eating well. It's also Mardi Gras season, so I went to a parade on Friday and drank too much. Then, back east, I ate and drank ALL the birthday celebration treats, and I drank margaritas and beer on my trip back to Louisiana yesterday.
I ate too much.
I drank too much.
I spent too much money.
And now I feel like crap, physically and emotionally. I'm stressed about spending too much money, and my poor stomach and gut want to know what I have against them. (The answer: nothing. I love my stomach, I appreciate my gut. I should have been better to them!!) This stress and crappy feeling has me completely distracted at work, and I'm slacking off when I should be picking up the slack from being gone this weekend. Which adds to the stress, which snowballs, etc. etc. etc.
So I've decided something: I'm going to try my hand at the February 8th Fit Girl Boot Camp challenge. A dear friend of mine had her book bound and uses it like a diary, and she's raving about it. I held off from trying the Boot Camp program last Fit Girl round because I was starting to train for a 10k, and the Boot Camp is a 12-week program--my biggest commitment yet. I was scared of it, to be honest.
But here's the thing about 2016: This is my milestone year. My mom turns 50, I turn 30, I'm doing the 2016 in 2016, and I'm trying to run another half marathon and train for my first marathon. So I need to be allowed to get scared. I need to be okay with trying things that scare me, because that's how I'm going to grow. That's how we all grow.
So for the rest of this week, I'm going to work on cleansing and detoxing before the challenge and train smart for my race on Feb. 13. It might be scary, but that's okay.
OH, and our team hit our 100-mile milestone! One step at a time.
February's goals:
1. Hit 100 personal miles
2. Finish the Mardi Gras Mambo race
3. CROSS TRAIN
4. Sign up for the Varsity Sports weight loss challenge
5. *breathe*
6. Blog more regularly
The surprise was a resounding success, which had me so relieved--I was really worried that I was going to somehow miss my flight or that the surprise would be blown. But everything went off without a hitch, and I had a wonderful 48 hours back east. I even got to go climbing with my brother, which has become one of my new favorite things.
So all that was wonderful. But now it's confessional time:
I've also been a terrible Fit Girl this past week for the last week in the first 2016 Fit Girl challenge. I was super stressed and trying to plan for the trip, so I haven't been eating well. It's also Mardi Gras season, so I went to a parade on Friday and drank too much. Then, back east, I ate and drank ALL the birthday celebration treats, and I drank margaritas and beer on my trip back to Louisiana yesterday.
I ate too much.
I drank too much.
I spent too much money.
And now I feel like crap, physically and emotionally. I'm stressed about spending too much money, and my poor stomach and gut want to know what I have against them. (The answer: nothing. I love my stomach, I appreciate my gut. I should have been better to them!!) This stress and crappy feeling has me completely distracted at work, and I'm slacking off when I should be picking up the slack from being gone this weekend. Which adds to the stress, which snowballs, etc. etc. etc.
So I've decided something: I'm going to try my hand at the February 8th Fit Girl Boot Camp challenge. A dear friend of mine had her book bound and uses it like a diary, and she's raving about it. I held off from trying the Boot Camp program last Fit Girl round because I was starting to train for a 10k, and the Boot Camp is a 12-week program--my biggest commitment yet. I was scared of it, to be honest.
But here's the thing about 2016: This is my milestone year. My mom turns 50, I turn 30, I'm doing the 2016 in 2016, and I'm trying to run another half marathon and train for my first marathon. So I need to be allowed to get scared. I need to be okay with trying things that scare me, because that's how I'm going to grow. That's how we all grow.
So for the rest of this week, I'm going to work on cleansing and detoxing before the challenge and train smart for my race on Feb. 13. It might be scary, but that's okay.
OH, and our team hit our 100-mile milestone! One step at a time.
February's goals:
1. Hit 100 personal miles
2. Finish the Mardi Gras Mambo race
3. CROSS TRAIN
4. Sign up for the Varsity Sports weight loss challenge
5. *breathe*
6. Blog more regularly
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